I thought I knew what I wanted to do

and then everything evaporated. It didn't evaporate, I made a calculated decision to take another journey - an unknown journey.

I just wasn't happy continuing on this strict curriculum where I felt alone and restricted. I wanted more time - something that no one could give me, I had to choose to take it on my own. Now, I can consider any specialty.

I don't know what I want to do anymore. Radiology or Pathology? Surgery? Internal Medicine?

I think I wasn't as happy on the wards as I thought I should be. I dread presentations - mainly because of being judged so harshly. I don't mind presenting when I'm not being scrutinized. I'll have to present for the rest of my life. I just feel like I talk weird and get incredibly self conscious.

What do I enjoy the most? I enjoy funny patients and teammates who are nerdy and passionate. I enjoy learning. I don't think I have any practical skills - other than I like to cook and I like to bike and run and read books.