It's been a long time

This is a relatively peaceful night. I'm sitting at home, listening to hymns on Soundcloud, working through studying the muscles, vasculature, and innervation of the foot.

This second semester has been a roller coaster. There have been too many times this semester where I felt like I couldn't stop crying and wanted to take a long break. There have also been really powerful moments this semester where I remembered that this is where God has placed me and He reminded me that He is my sure supply.

I sat and talked to a patient who was suffering from severe depression one afternoon. I listened to her story and wanted to weep afterwards because I could understand what it felt like to be hopeless.

I completed my first triathlon. I stayed in my classmate's beach house. We ate seafood and I dipped my toes in the Atlantic.

I sat outside and cried by the bus stop after a discouraging day. My classmate stopped and asked me if I was okay. I said I wasn't, I was homesick and wanted to fly back to California. He said he understood and that he felt like he needed a break and needed to go home too. I really appreciated his kindness. Sometimes I can't keep up the facade of being tough. I'm human, I break a little under pressure.

My friend brought me sushi and flowers after a hard week. We also went to California Pizza Kitchen as a surprise because I had been talking about being homesick and watched a Bible miniseries because I miss learning about things of eternal value.

During our last dissection, my dissection team made me laugh so hard I had to back up and double over. My dissection group was great. I thought I was the worst member of the team, but they pointed out to me I was good at finding the nerves. I have a dogged determination when it comes to sticking my hands into the spaces between muscle and tissue and blunt dissecting fascia to uncover the nerve roots.

I found a beautiful field and a top to sit under a tree and gaze at the rolling green hills of North Carolina. It is really beautiful here.

This semester ends in two weeks and I'm happy. Thank you Lord. It's been a good year. It's been a hard year, but also a good one.